books |
getting closer everyday
[excerpt from the book Getting Closer Everyday ] winter 2008 most of my life i have felt there is a missing piece...i’ve often thought if i had more success or better jeans or was liked by every person i ever came in contact with than i would magically be okay. i’ve spent years and years seeing the glass half empty and wishing and dreaming for a different life. like if i was just born a bizillionaire or if i were more outgoing or if my teeth were not so small or if people liked my art enough to invite me to speak at a fancy institution or if i were on the cover of w magazine.....then i would be happy.... over the last few years i have become aware of a need to cultivate gratitude in my life. i started developing this practice of writing things i am grateful for down on a sheet of paper. some days all i could write was that i had food + shelter + my health. other days i could write a little but more. before i knew it i was creating these long gratitude lists and i was honestly grateful for what was on the lists. my family, my friends, my desire to grow, my education, my past, my ability to connect with other people, my willingness to show up for life even when things were messy and even when i was not all pretty and put together. i learned through this process that i am a good friend, sibling, daughter, partner, worker, listener and i even have a weird often dark sense of humor that most people find totally offensive. and i could live with that. the more i am in gratitude the less my life appears empty and full of useless bullshit. the more i am in gratitude the more i see the beauty and feel the bittersweetness in every little thing. and most days i get that i am okay and i find the energy to face the world with a smile.
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a hundred or so reasons why with pictures, lyrics and love
This pocket size book was created for Josef for our one year anniversary. It has key phrases (inside jokes) and images in it, re-capping the last year we spent in our long distance relationship. Poetic, humerous, outrageous and sad it pretty much sums up a year of traveling, waiting, longing and laughing. |
anniversary 8 x 10", 52 pgs (39 full color bleed), photo + text, color dust jacket, hard cover, edition of 3, self-published 2007 In an effort to make my one year anniversary with Josef special I spent months editing photographs I took during the year that I knew him. I turned these photos into a book and planned on giving it to him when he came down to san francisco for our celebration. Then things changed (this is where the story gets interesting). My friend Susan O'Malley is the assistant curator at SJICA. She was creating a resource room there and asked me if I would loan it my books for the summer. I agreed. Susan came to my apt to catch up and pick up the works. I showed her my new books and she really liked anniversary. I told her she could put it in the show. The day after the opening I got an email from a man that wanted to purchase the book. After talking it over with Susan I agreed to sell it. The man was very nice, he came to my apartment with the book and we talked about it, I signed it for his wife (it was an anniversary present, it was all too perfect), he left and I thought to myself, wow! I made it. I really am a real artist, I sold something! I called Josef to tell him the news. He is not as excited as I hoped he would be. He laughs a little and I wonder if the thinks I am totally nuts for selling his present. He does but he doesn't tell me for a couple of months. I finally make another copy and give it to him three months later in Portland. |
a happy little book 5.5 x 3.25", 11 pgs, inkjet printed text, spiral bound, un-numbered edition of 3, self-published in 2006 A fun hand-held book of praise, good humor and sweet nothings. |
israel
When I asked my brother to write about what new things he learned about me on our trip he said he couldn't. I was sad because during that conversation I felt him slip further away. I love my brother and wish he could talk abouthis feelings. I guess it is still a book about our trip to Israel only now the story is told in my voice and not ours. I did however use some of his photographs from our trip. They were all taken in 2005 all over Israel. |
i just want to know you 5.5 x 8.5", 30 pgs (full color), photo + text, inkjet prints on epson enhanced matte, case bound with cloth cover, embossed title, edition of 5 given out to my family in 20052004-2005 Fall of 2004 I sent my mother, father, and brother disposable cameras and asked them to photograph their lives. I had mixed feelings about what they would photograph. I wondered if it was possible to learn from what they photographed. and I hoped they wouldn't be trying to impress me. When they sent the cameras back to me I was suprised. a number of the images stood out. I was left with more questions. I chose the photographs that were the most telling and asked them to write a little about each one. In their responses I heard their distinct voices. I was in awe of the honesty and emotion they each posessed. I started making the book and decided to write some of my own memories and thoughts about their images as well. I included their words as well as mine in the final edition. This work was a vehicle for me to get to know my family. When the edition was finished I gave each of them a finished book so they could know each other. |